Do you know what resources you have, what’s good for you? I tend to think I have the answer and then just ignore it, when I need it. There is a lot to learn in this area. Specifically expats need more awareness of when they reach the limit, when things get overwhelming.
Without resources to draw on, it’s easy to get swept away by life’s happenings. Resourcing ourselves allows us to stand sturdy in the midst of life – like a tall tree firmly rooted in the ground with the branches swaying in the storm. It gives us resilience.
But what is a recource?
A resource is a supply, a reserve, a means of support and being aware of the things that resource us has never been more important.
Purposefully attending to something that brings balance and regulation – even the smallest thing, can ground us, bring comfort and a sense of ease.
It could be giving ourselves a little time first thing in the morning like sitting quietly with a cuppa and without any devices, going for a walk, meditation, yoga, journaling, playing music, art … Something that we do to strengthen the heart and mind.
It’s one thing to know what brings you balance and a sense of ease; it’s another to actually do it, and do it regularly. For when things get difficult or challenging, we usually let the things that are good for us, that we enjoy doing, drop off our agenda. (I share some tips at the end of this blog to help prevent this from happening).
Do you know what resources you?
Sometimes we lose touch with the things that are good for us. But our body knows, always.
How much time do we spend in silence every day reconnecting to our body and mind? Often none at all. Just ten minutes of pausing, of silence can change the course of the day.
When you pause, ask yourself: What fills my tank with goodness, energy, space, wellness? Listen carefully to the answer.
How to change unhelpful habits
Often we know that we need to spend more time looking after ourselves but we just don’t do it because the neglecting ourselves has become an unhelpful habit. We need to put action before motivation until resourcing ourselves daily has become a new helpful habit; we need to review our priorities and make space for them in our daily schedule.
Here are some tips:
1. Frist things first. Take yourself seriously. Protect time for yourself in your diary and stick to it. Give yourself permission to be good to yourself and nip any unhelpful views in the bud (e.g. it’s selfish, I don’t deserve etc.).
2. Know your triggers, i.e. when you stop looking after yourself, e.g. a tight deadline, different things happening at the same time, unexpected things happening (pandemic, illness, job loss, conflict at home or work, a mistake, the car, computer, boiler breaking down etc.)
3. Pause, notice how your body is feeling: tight, tense, heart racing, pressure around your temples.
4. Notice your emotions. How are you feeling: anxious, scared, stressed, panicked, overwhelmed? You can say: ‘I’m feeling anxious right now.’ Acknowledge how you are feeling without pushing the feeling away or getting overwhelmed by it. ‘Right now this is how I’m feeling. And it’s ok’.
5. Ask yourself: What is good for me right now? This is the crucial bit that stops you from going down the Exhaustion Funnel. For example:
5.1 Slowing down, breathing (it helps the nervous system to come out of high alert mode (sympathetic nervous system) and into ‘soothing, calming mode’ (parasympathetic nervous system)
5.2 Staying present (versus spiralling off into a story: this is terrible, I can’t bear it, why does it happen to me?) ‘Ok, this is happening right now, how can I best respond to this AND look after myself?’
5.3 Talking things through with someone you trust and you can listen to you.
Book a taster session through Cat’s agenda
During a session we will look at what your body has to tell you!
