Family constellations is a powerful tool for exploring a coach question in depth. The application of constellations is much broader than just for family problems. A constellation can be about relationships, work, stress, health, raising your children, making choices, etc. For you, Expat, it is looking at the bigger picture and make certain connections that have surfaced due to your choices to go Expat.

The basis of who we are, how we see ourselves and behave is mainly formed by our roots: our parents and our family system. Our country of birth or our culture are also important ethnic roots. As we grow up, we become part of more and more social systems. We go to school, become part of a team, a circle of friends, start working in a company or organization. All those systems influence us.

systemic board for family therapy. Wooden figures posing as people, a team or a family constellation

Every system functions according to certain ordering principles. These work invisibly and unconsciously. Disturbances in the systemic principles, especially those of our family system, can “uproot” us. Characteristic of a systemic blockade is the loss of connection with ourselves, with our talents, our desires, with people close to us or with what is dear to us. This can make us feel out of balance. We then experience insufficient basis in ourselves to fall back on. Our energy stagnates and this is expressed in the form of recurring symptoms or problems in our lives.

A family constellation is especially helpful with issues that have been bothering you for some time, where you may have already done everything you can, but which somehow do not get you much further. Then it can be useful to see yourself in relation to the bigger picture of which you are part.

You may recognize themes such as:

• There is often a fight: with your partner, your family, your colleagues. You want to change this.

• You struggle with recurring feelings (such as fear, anger, guilt, sadness) that you cannot place.

• You would like to take certain steps. But somehow it doesn’t work (self-sabotage).

• You are very hard on yourself. Why do you overwork yourself over and over again?

• You have physical complaints without a clearly identifiable cause.

• You suffer from stress, burnout/bore-out or depression.

• You keep getting stuck in work situations.

•You want to start a relationship, but you shy away when it gets serious.

Family Constellation: What questions can by asked?

• I always feel very responsible. How can I learn to deal with this differently?

• I am always taking care of others and forgetting about myself.

• I have everything: relationship, job, family. And yet I don’t feel happy. How did that happen?

• What role does my illness play in my life?

• How can I post a disease or health theme?

• How can my children grow up without taking over my problems?

• How do I find more peace within myself?

• Why do I always arrange everything?

• Why do I keep procrastinating?

• Why do I keep running into the same problems?

• What prevents me from shaping my own life?

• What does it take to step into my power?

• How can I find a job that really suits me?

• Why is there no confidentiality between me and my sister/brother?

• How can I trust myself more?

• How can I learn to deal with the emotions surrounding loss and grief?

As you can see, a constellation can be about various questions. A family constellation places your question in a broader perspective. It makes clear what is the cause of your uprooting. And it will show you what you can do to be firmly rooted in life again.

Individual Constellation

I specialize in individual setups. For this I use wooden dolls, floor anchors or other elements. The information from the setup comes from the different places. Together we investigate what is going on. By looking without judgment and asking systemic questions, the dynamics and transcending patterns can be clarified.

You can also experience what it’s like to take your own place in the system again. If this is not (yet) possible, a step in the right direction can often be taken. One small step can make all the difference.

The new image has an effect in the days, weeks and months after the installation. Gradually there is a shift in your perception. This gives a change in your beliefs, experience and behavior.